I have a love-hate relationship with 'solitude'. While I agree that solitude has taught me many lessons than anything else, I am also at times wary of it. I am just thinking why solitude is necessary for a person. Can a person be away from 'solitude' by being in a group and still claim that he has bared all to himself? What is the purpose of solitude? What is its meaning in my life?
My next thought is to figure out if there is any difference between 'loneliness', 'solitude' and 'desolation'? And here continues the thought process...I like to think that 'loneliness' is a state of being in a solitary isolation. If that is true, what then is solitude? The inner me says, solitude is the state of being in touch with the 'inner me'. One could be isolated from the world and still have company - the company of himself. Desolation - well, that doesnt sound too positive. I guess one is in a state of desolation when he loses 'his' company.
Returning to the meaning of solitude in my life, I am left thinking of how solitude has shaped me. Since childhood, I have been having this notion that every person is an uncut diamond. To shape the uncut stone to a glistening diamond a good 'sharpener' is required. And they say, to cut a diamond, use another diamond. What better diamond to shape yourself, than 'yourself'? If the innerself is a diamond that is used to shape the 'real' diamond, I think solitude is the channel that makes this cutting process possible. I like solitude because it helps me shape myself. In the darkness of solitude, the varying hues of my true self scintillate vivaciously. Solitude has been the weapon that I have been aiming at myself and in the process has seen myself grow. Growth - ah!...a wonderful concept that is more often than not misunderstood amidst all our misconceptions. And grow I have...from a petulant kid to a still-growing kid.
So, when will I grow up to be a man? Amidst all my hope, prayers, efforts, blunders, illusions, failures and success, there comes a day when I completely I understand myself. And thats when, I enter the tough, but worthwhile legion of men. In the meanwhile, I trust my solitude to teach me all the lessons to get me there.
1. Yours truly arrives at the screen
6. The entire team...
